Wrong Cake Order

Bakery Employee: Hello, how can I help you?

Customer: I would like to order a cake for a going away party.

Bakery Employee: What would you like written on the cake?

Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you"

Subsurdity: Vignettes from Jasper Lane

I just finished reading Subsurdity: Vignettes from Jasper Lane by Eric Arvin. Humor, mystery, secrets and romance fill the pages. I don't often laugh out loud when reading. I will crack a smile or nod my head thinking, "That's funny." But few writers make me laugh. I did laugh along with Arvin's suburban tale.

The situations he places his characters in are creative and humorous. The dialogue is witty and sharp. I often re-read my favorite lines (another thing I don't do very often) and thought, "I need to remember that phrase so I can use it one day."

What I appreciate is how unique each character is. These are not cookie cutter neighbors who blur together. They each stand on their own and add to the story.

Subsurdity: Vignettes from Jasper Lane is a very fun read. It even tugs at the romance side of this hardened (and perhaps a bit jaded) reader!

I want to move to Jasper Lane.

My neighborhood is way too boring.

To order a signed copy of the book, check out Eric's blog: Daventry Blue.

The book is also available to order online or check your favorite bookstore!

Sea Breeze: Food Review 21 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place
Sea Breeze

Location
Mandalay Bay Hotel
Las Vegas Strip

Who I Went With
Ryan

What I Ate
Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza (my favorite).

Would I Go Back
Yes.

Worth the Price
Yes. Straight from the oven, the pizza had a fresh, great taste. I doubt there was a canned or frozen ingredient on it.

Favorite Quote: On Sex & Complexions

Quote:
I need sex for a clear complexion, but I'd rather do it for love.

Who Said It:
Joan Crawford

My Thoughts:
Me too, Joan. Me too. But if I need to do it for a clear complexion, I will. Beauty knows no pain.

Panda Express Cup

After my friend Ryan and I got our photo taken in front of the famous Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign, we stopped into Panda Express for dinner.

As I was working my way through the two-item combo, I reached for my soda and for the first time looked at the cup.

Let me be clear: my mind doesn't always goes immediately to the gutter. But, when I saw the design of the cup, I did not think, "I love . . . chicken."

What I did think was, "I love . . . . um . . . male chickens."

I held up the cup and asked Ryan, "Did you see this?" He glanced at the cup and then spit a mouthful of rice across the table. I guess he interpreted it in the same way.

Anyone who has ever been part of a marketing or advertising team knows that this design went through 83 meetings and required the approval of 147 people.

Didn't anyone ever say, "You know, this could be taken a couple different ways?" To prove my point, check out this poster I also saw in Vegas. Similar, huh?

Doesn't Panda Express have at least one perverted person working on their team?

Enjoy: Food Review 20 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place:
Enjoy

Location:
15435 Founders Lane
Apple Valley, MN 55124

Who I Went With:
Val and Mallory

What I Ate:
Caesar salad, carrots/dip, western eggs, waffle, French toast, bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns.

Would I Go Back:
For sure.

Worth the Price:
Yes! The food is wonderful and the choices are plenty. The building and decor is fantastic. A quote from their website says it all:

From the outside, it's a romantic Tuscan village. Inside, it's seven dining rooms each with its own personality. From our intimate little grotto to our sunlit conservatory to our wrap-around patio, our goal is to make every visit one you will truly enjoy.

Project Runway: First Impressions

Project Runway is finally back on TV. Some first impressions of a few designers:

Ari Fish. I am glad she was the first person eliminated. For two reasons. One, her design was ridiculous. Two, she was getting really annoying really fast and it was only the first episode.


Johnny Sakalis. Fifteen minutes into the show he started crying, "I've reached my limits." It's going to be a long season if he's cracking under the pressure this fast. Something about it didn't seem real? Thoughts?



Malvin Vien. Proclaimed he doesn't worry about the color of a carpet (in reference to the Red Carpet Challenge). Some advice to Malvin: you better start worrying because the celebrities looking for Red Carpet Fashion do. Keep up the attitude and no one will worry about you.



Qristyl Frazier. She provided the funniest moment of the episode when time was running out and she grabbed a scissors to cut her own fabric at Mood Fabrics. "I do what I gotta do!" I love her energy and I hope she stays around!

Favorite Quote: On Housewives

Quote:
I don't pretend to be an ordinary housewife.

Who Said It:
Elizabeth Taylor

Drugs for Sale

Cabo San Lucas was a stop on my Mexican Riviera cruise. During the shore excursion, we were taken to this market place:



The market place had an unusual amount of pharmacy type stores. And these stores were proudly displaying signs of the drugs they sold. "What's the big deal?" I wondered. "Don't all pharmacies have these drugs?"



The big deal was you don't need a prescription. The stores sell drugs over-the-counter that in the U.S. are prescription only.

Viagra, Retin-A, Penicillin, Zoloft, Amoxicilin, Prilosec. Whatever you wanted, they had it.

And, you don't even need to buy a full bottle! Just walk up to the counter and tell the employee how many pills you want. Your order is placed in a small baggie or in a regular pill bottle. Depending on how many you want.

If you're feeling depressed just go pick up some Zoloft. Can't get erect, go pick up some Viagra. No doctor visit. No exam. No blood work. No testing.



Places like this might make for some great one-stop-shopping. Condoms, Viagra and Penicillin all with no questions asked.

Maybe Cabo San Lucas is on to something?

El Potro: Food Review 19 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place:
El Porto

Location:
Grand Rapids, MN

Who I Went With:
Kathleen, Sheree and Justin. We were in Grand Rapids for the Judy Garland Festival.

What I Ate:
Chips and salsa. Taco, enchilada and rice.



Would I Go Back:
Sure.

Worth the Price:
The food was inexpensive and had a good flavor. The company and laughs made it even better.

The Forum Shops Entrance

The last time I was in Vegas, the new entrance to The Forum Shops was being built. It turned out beautiful as the above photo shows.

One of the entrances.

Another side entrance complete with a fountain.

I resisted the urge to pull a Heidi Klum and jump into the fountain to splash around while my photo was taken. Maybe next time.

Cecil's Deli: Food Review 18 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place:
Cecil's Deli

Location:
651 Cleveland Ave S
St Paul, MN 55116-1244

Who I Went With:
Tony

What I Ate:
We couldn't make up our minds so we split the following: BBQ beef sandwich and a pastrami and pepper jack cheese on pumpernickel toast.
Fries.

Would I Go Back:
For sure!

Worth the Price:
Cecil's Deli started in 1949 and I understand why they are still open. The food is totally worth the price. The pastrami on pumpernickel was incredible. Next time I'm having a full sandwich all to myself.

Attached to the deli is a grocery area where Cecil's sells the fresh breads, meats and salads that make up their menu. The bread was so good that we bought a loaf. I'm go back just to buy more.

Favorite Quote: Judy Garland on Keyholes

Quote:
I never looked through a keyhole without finding someone was looking back.

Who Said It:
Judy Garland



My Thoughts:
This quote sums up perfectly the lack of privacy global fame brings. The books I've read, the people I've talked with and the TV specials I've watch almost always mention the excitement and chaos that followed Judy wherever she went.

Rok Your ??? Off

This poster in the Las Vegas hotel, New York New York, advertises Rok Vegas: the "sexy new rock nightclub."

Time for a multiple choice question.

This poster is telling Michael Rivers to:

A. Rok his Chicken off.

B. Rok his Hen off.

C. Rok his Rooster off.

D. Rok his Cock off.

Joan Rivers Plays Las Vegas

I'm excited to report that Joan Rivers is going back to Las Vegas! She will perform at the incredible Venetian Hotel.

The last time I saw Joan in Vegas was five years ago. The chance to see her there again was too good to resist. I phoned my friend Ryan (in Phoenix) and he started to pack immediately.

Another exciting thing about this trip is I get to meet my friend Anne. We began emailing about 1 1/2 years ago. And it all started because of Joan. I was ebay-bidding on two Joan Rivers at Caesar's Palace programs. Anne outbid me. How dare she.

She was nice enough to email me and offer one of the programs because she "didn't need two copies." I promptly removed the pins from the voodoo doll and our great friendship concerning all things Joan was born.

Ryan, Anne, her husband and I got front-row-center tickets and we'll visit with Joan after the show. We're excited! Joan. Friends. Vegas. Front row. It will be a great adventure!

My friend and fantastic jewelry designer, Kenneth Fron, may also be in Vegas for the show. I'm just waiting to get word from him. Ladies, do you have your FRON on?

Show Information:
August 27-29
Showtime: 7:00 p.m.

September 3-5
Showtime: 7:00 p.m.

Tickets start at $46
VIP Seating Available

Phone: 702-414-9000

Purchase Online

The Fabulous Las Vegas Sign

Welcome to sunny--well, cloudy--Las Vegas!

Vegas gets three cloudy days a year and I was there for all three! But Ryan and I still had a nice time and I finally got a photo in front of the famous Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign.

I've always wanted a picture with the sign (as any true tourist does). But I didn't know where it was. I assumed it was on the outskirts of the city. Little did I know how close I was to it during all my visits to Vegas.

As the shuttle took us from the airport to Mandalay Bay, we drove past the sign. It's only a few blocks south of the hotel. I couldn't believe it. It's been that close all this time?

On our last night in Vegas we made our way to the sign and I finally got my photo.

Viva Las Vegas!

Corner Coffee: Food Review 17 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place:
Corner Coffee

Location:
514 N 3rd St # 102
Minneapolis, MN 55401

Who I Went With:
Scott

What I Ate:
We weren't too hungry so I ordered a sandwich and chips.

Would I Go Back:
Yes. The interior has a great feel and a variety of sandwiches, soups and desserts. There is also a performance stage. I'd like to go and enjoy some coffee and entertainment

Worth the Price:
Yes.

Favorite Quotes: Walk of Fame

Quote:
Ah, stardom . . . they put your name on a star in the sidewalk on Hollywood Boulevard and you walk down and find a pile of dog shit on it. That tells the whole story, baby.

Who Said It:
Lee Marvin

Convention Grill: Food Review 16 of 52

As part of my New Year's Resolution to try 52 new restaurants, diners, coffee shops and bakeries during 2009, I present the following review.

Place:
Convention Grill

Location:
3912 Sunnyside Rd
Edina, MN 55424

Who I Went With:
Scott, Mike and PK

What I Ate:
Root beer Float and Cheeseburger





Would I Go Back:
Yes. The cheeseburger was one of the best I've ever tasted. The Convention Grill opened in 1934 and still has the same atmosphere. I enjoyed this so much that I've already gone back. Recently my parents and niece visited and this is one of the places we went to eat.

Worth the Price:
Yes. Very good food and fun atmosphere.

Viva Las Vegas

Today I am flying to Las Vegas for a mini-vacation. It's been five years since I was last there so I'm anxious to see the new hotels and shopping centers.

One thing I'm very excited for is that I'm finally getting the chance to stay at Mandalay Bay! I'm guessing I'll spend the majority of my time at the pool.

When I get back to Minneapolis, I'll post plenty of photos and blogs.